- - though I am still participating in Shimelle's class this year I have discovered that this years learning is a little too sensitive to share this time. All my thoughts have gone into a very personal notebook which will probably never be shared with anyone. I am truly grateful for the prompts - but this year much of what I have written is too heartfelt to be anywhere in the public domain, and so stays only in my notebook.
I can say I am moving forward and not back - though the movement is infantismal at times - (is that the right word??) very tiny movements forward anyway - almost un-noticeable to anyone other than me perhaps.
Grief is proving to be a strange bedfellow as they say - - and I have come to the conclusion that the Victorians had an understanding of loss that modern society seems to have forgotten - grief cannot be hurried, I understand the need they had to wear black ( it is an armour, a protection almost) and to me feels like I am putting on my courage to face the world - and so I can cope with many things in my working life that, at present, seem trivial and of little importance. Yet I know life goes on - and as a family we are really trying to learn to live with our loss. I keep hoping that Time will really prove to be the Great Healer it is promised to be - not for myself particularly - but for my daughters- they are so young to have to deal with this emptiness in their lives - yet I know they are doing their best to keep moving forward.
So - todays lesson seems to be -- Use the things that help, even if they do seem outdated.
Thank you so much for stopping by - I am very aware if all those positive thoughts, prayers and love you send - and they have a value that is priceless - and means so very much to me.
Til later
Bannaghtyn, J xx
A wordsmith - dreaming & wandering along the highways & byways off the thoroughfare called Memory Lane. Sometimes stopping to take in the natural beauty surrounding me - making "stuff", taking inspiration from others, visiting friends near & far and trying to come to terms with the greatest loss I have ever experienced.
I've been thinking of you often. I do hope you're finding this project a help and source of some comfort. You continue in my prayers xx
ReplyDeleteyou are never far from my thoughts, I hope that writing things down helps a little xx
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are finding Shimelle's prompts helpful and I think having a private space to record the tough times is always of value. I am sending my warmest thoughts.
ReplyDeleteGlad that the ponderings in Shimelle's class are being helpful right now, and am continuing to be mindful of the sadness and huge gap you are all living with and thinking of you with warmth. Yes, sharing your thought that those cultures which make our bereavement visible have a lot to offer in so many ways ... I often think it would increase the awareness and sensitivity of society as a whole, and help those of us who are recently bereaved to feel acknowledged.
ReplyDeleteI haven't checked in with you for awhile. It is good that you are getting benefit from the class to help you through this difficult period. One never knows where help can appear. I hope eventually much of the grief your family bears can just be replaced by good memories of the past. Take care.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that the class is being helpful...and baby steps are indeed the way forward
ReplyDeleteAlison xx
(((Jen))) I think if LSNED is providing prompts that move you to write and process it is indeed a success for you after all it's about your growth not about sharing with the world. Very valid point about the Victorians, even some present day cultures seem to have a better take on mourning in my opinion than we do.
ReplyDelete