- - a particularly significant prompt for me today - and also a very difficult one. I am not sure sometimes just HOW to keep moving forward but know that I must or this loss I am living with will destroy not only the rest of my life - but that of my dearest and our girls. I returned to work today - so that was a step forward I guess. Sadly I felt as if I was in a parallel world - there - but not involved - and I find I no longer care very much about all the waffle and twaddle that seems so important to management - it felt all rather meaningless for me - - and as a result my hard won equilibrium is very fragile tonight, yet I know I must go back again tomorrow.
Maybe it will get easier - I hope it does - at least enough to get me through until half term anyway. Only one way for me to find out though - isn't there? I have tried hard to be strong - and not fall apart around colleagues - and in that I think I suceeded, even though I felt as if I was on automatic pilot - however I have only managed half a day as I left at noon.
So - what have I learned today? I think that todays learning for me comes down to this -
"Baby steps are all I can manage - and that is good enough"
Thanks for dropping in,
'Til later
Bannaghtyn J x
A wordsmith - dreaming & wandering along the highways & byways off the thoroughfare called Memory Lane. Sometimes stopping to take in the natural beauty surrounding me - making "stuff", taking inspiration from others, visiting friends near & far and trying to come to terms with the greatest loss I have ever experienced.
baby steps are good xx
ReplyDelete{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}} Jen baby steps are perfect steps glad you feel you can make them
ReplyDeleteJen - oh, Jen! I am so, so sorry. I've been so detached from blogland for most of this year that I've been way behind with many blog friends and am only now properly catching up, I can't believe I hadn't seen your sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Well done taking those baby steps, give yourself as much time as you need xx
ReplyDeleteJen, I think baby steps are just right. You have ever right to take them and as you said you are moving forward. I know some days all you want to do is stop moving or even move backwards, you are strong, you are brave and you are prayed for {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteLittle steps are, it seems to me, just what is possible in circumstances of great sorrow, loss and pain. It often seems strange that the world is carrying on as it always did - how can it/they not know of the enormity of what has happened to me? I am not the only one thinking of you, and sending warm thoughts, and hope we are all able to be a quiet support in some way.
ReplyDelete